The Enneagram and You

You are amazing, unique, and there is no one exactly like you! 

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when you come of age and don’t realize how much your fear of trying something new limits your freedom.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different.  Your type shows you where you are already stuck.  Working with this fantastic tool helps you to break free of the limitations of your personality, helping you to become stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types.  Remember, you have all nine types within you.

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Enneagram Type Three: The Achiever

At Your Best:

You are full of energy. You have a hunger to make a difference in the world. You are creative, playful, and fun-loving. 

You can see the big picture; you have the ability and skills to guide an organization into the future.  You can see opportunities before others notice them. You can see talents in others and help them to claim them.

You bring your best self forward every day. You are big-hearted.  You not only want the best for yourself, but you also want it for everyone else.

Despite your hunger to succeed,  you choose to take care of yourself. You are not afraid to take a day off. You can turn off your phone when you go on holiday.

You care deeply about your family and will put the same energy into family life as you do for your business.

At work or home, you know how to get the job done! You have a lot of energy because you are a good steward of your resources of time and energy. You thrive when pushed to your limits.  Because you take good care of yourself, you have all the energy you need.

You have the gift of helping everyone in your family or organization to work well together, care for each other and play well together. All this bringing out the best in each person, including yourself.

When you Lose Connection with your true self:

As you move into stress, you get caught up in your need to succeed.  Being successful becomes the prime motive to live. 

As you get more stressed, you will think you need to morph yourself into something you are not.  To do this, you will become a great actor. Pretending to be someone you are not will take vast amounts of energy to keep your secret.

The trouble is that when you try to be someone else, you can never be as happy, creative, motivating, and successful as you are when you are grounded in your authentic self.

In the end, people will be able to see through your masquerade.  What will give you away is your unwillingness to walk your talk. 

People will catch on to your addiction to be the best when they can see all your lies even when you can’t see it yourself.

Peter (This is not his real name):

 Peter is a workaholic.  He is the CEO of a large corporation.  He has helped to get the organization into the place it is today as one of the best in the field.

He has seen new trends long before they happen. He has helped to nurture the talents of his employees.  He is well-liked, and people are never afraid to go and talk to him.

Now, he is in the middle of a divorce because he spent too much time away from the family. He and his wife have not had a holiday in ten years.  His adult children have stopped talking to him because he never had enough time for them.

In the middle of all this pain, he is losing touch with what is going on in the business. The board is concerned that he has lost his magic. Profits are going down each year, and if things do not change soon, staff will lose their jobs.

The only way for Peter to move ahead is for him to slow down and get some professional help. Seeking expert advice is hard for him because he does not want to admit that he is the big reason for the downturn in the company. 

It was the separation that woke him up when his wife explained why she was seeking a divorce. 

A long-time friend of both his wife and he refused to give up on him.  He reminded Peter of what life was like when he was at his best. For years now, his life was falling apart, but he was too afraid to make the needed changes.

With the help of family, friends and professionals, Peter started to open his heart.  He began to feel all the pain he had tried to avoid through his workaholism. 

With time, perseverance and work, he rediscovered what brought him joy in life. He decided that he needed a change in the job. 

He had always wanted to start a BrewPub. Making beer was the one hobby he had not stopped.  Most of all, he had the energy, curiosity, and hunger to learn all the things he needed to get this new business going. 

Most importantly, Peter knew that he could do not do this alone, and he had to set up personal boundaries to prevent his tendency to overwork.

Peter found a group of people, including a coach, to help him to move into this new adventure, opening him to his intuition, heart and quiet mind.

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The Power of Mentorship:

Type threes at their best make great mentors. Type Three’s have the gift to build trust with people, helping them to identify their passions, interest, and skills.

Not only are they able to bring out the strengths in their employees and management, but they also have the gift to bring them all together in the organization to make the best use of each person’s skills, drive and personalities.

A healthy three will bring the organization together like a family—caring not only for the productivity of the organization but the well-being of each person. Not only does the three want to create an efficient organization, but she wants everyone to succeed and have a good time.

You have an inner-critic.

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Four Ways to Get Healthier:

1.      Take time to relax and care for yourself

Taking time for self-care is not easy for the three. It will take practice and lots of self-love.  Remember, you are worth it, and you deserve to treat yourself well.

Make sure you do something good for yourself each day. Eat good food, get plenty of sleep, read a good book, get active, hang out with your family and or go out with a friend.

You are always going to do a better job when you make your social, mental, physical and spiritual needs a priority.

2.      Stay Curious

As a type three, you have high expectations for yourself, and you have lots of energy. Do not expect everyone else to have that same drive to succeed as you do.

Make a special effort to show appreciation and acknowledge the contributions of others.

Avoid rushing into making big decisions. Remember the people who will be impacted by your choices.

Pay attention to your inner guidance to help you make the best choices for all aspects of your life.

3.      Make time to be with friends and family, put it right into your schedule

When friends or family members come to you with a concern, listen without giving advice. They most likely want you to listen so they can figure things out themselves. If they need help, they will ask for it.

Take time to appreciate your life partner. Take them on a date. When you spend time with her or him, give them your full attention.  Walk your talk, so they do not doubt your love.

Volunteer in your community, reminding yourself not everything is about competition, success and winning.

4.      Pay attention to your Feelings

Notice the difference between your real feelings than the show you put on when you are trying to impress others.

Notice your habit of jumping into activity when you start to feel anxious. Instead of getting busy, try meditation, exercise, or other practice to quiet your mind.

You have a big heart. Do not be afraid to reveal your vulnerable side. Being sensitive may be hard, so find a person you trust to begin showing this side of you.

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You are Amazing:

Remember, all nine types are equally good and equally bad.  As a type thee, your job is to get as healthy as you can in your type. 

At the beginning of your Enneagram journey, you may only see the negative in your type. Do not lose hope. As you spend more time discovering who you are, you will find more about the fantastic Enneagram Type three you are.

I am Roland Legge, an Identity Coach here to help you understand what makes you tick through the Enneagram.  You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and access your Free Online Enneagram Test