Nine Keys to Forgiveness: Finding your way through the Maze
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Forgiveness is misunderstood, especially among people of faith. How often have you heard the saying “forgive and forget”? If only it were that simple.
Declaring forgiveness is hollow if you cannot release the pain inflicted on you. It's meaningless if you keep passing on your pain to someone else. But when you let go, a sense of relief and freedom washes over you, paving the way for a brighter future.
If you do not release the pain, and this is not about forgetting, you will suppress the pain until it adversely affects your health.
Most of all, forgiveness takes time. It can be a lifelong process, but that doesn’t mean everything will be resolved.
The Enneagram is a powerful psychological and spiritual tool that can help you tap into the wisdom within and around you. Understanding and accessing the three centers of intelligence, sensations of the body, the emotions of the heart, and a quiet mind, can unlock the potential for forgiveness, both for yourself and others. This transformative process can lead to healing and the restoration of relationships, making the Enneagram a fascinating and inspiring journey of self-discovery.
You will benefit from learning from the wisdom of all nine types.
Here are nine ways to forgiveness through the Enneagram:
Type One: The Reformer:
The greatest challenge for the One is to overcome their fear of not being perfect. They put huge pressure on themselves to get it right and feel responsible for keeping everyone else safe. When they can accept their imperfections, they start to loosen up.
The type One wants to learn better ways to live in the world with others. As one gets less constricted, the person becomes more open to life, able to find therapies that work for them to heal, relearn playfulness, be less serious, have a sense of optimism, and start to believe that life can be better.
Type Two: The Helper
The greatest challenge for the Two to overcome is to accept that they have value for being themselves. They need to realize that they don't have to earn love because they already deserve it.
Two’s seek love. When they let go of their fear, they become more open to their own experiences and practice self-care. This allows them to tap into their creative energies and set appropriate boundaries.
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Type Three: The Achiever
The Three's greatest challenge is to accept that you don't have to be the best to be respected. Not everything has to be a competition. For the three to remember that you are good enough, regardless of others' perceptions.
Threes seek to be noticed for their successes. As they become less constricted in their type, they relinquish the need to always be in control. They become more present and concerned about other people’s feelings. An openness to seeking help makes it easier to ask for coaching or counselling.
Type Four: The Individualist
The four's challenge is shifting focus from what they're missing to appreciating what they have. They benefit from understanding their true feelings and becoming more grounded and practical.
They can channel creativity and emotions into concrete outcomes and are highly skilled in healing and the creative arts.
Type Five: The Investigator
The Five's challenge is remembering they have a body full of wisdom. Also, It's important for Fives to share what they are learning, even if their research isn't complete.
When grounded, Fives find power, become aware of physical desires, and feel more energized. They become more vocal and assertive, feeling worthy to take up space, and can more effectively step into leadership roles.
Type Six: The Loyalist
The Sixes’ challenge is to learn to trust a higher power greater than themselves and to trust themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally.
The Six will focus more on what is going well as they get more grounded. They will reclaim the Sixes strength of courage that will enable them to take more risks. As the Six becomes less constricted in their personality, they become more trusting, flexible, supportive, and less suspicious of others. They learn to relax and trust their gut instead of endlessly imagining negative scenarios.
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Type Seven: The Enthusiast
The Seven's challenge is to face the pain and mess in their lives. They can become calmer, gain perspective, and flow by slowing down and simplifying their lives.
As they loosen from the constriction of their Enneagram type, they become more focused, gain wisdom, and desire to understand the deeper meaning of life. They learn to engage in contemplative practices and accept stillness to open up to all three centers of intelligence.
Type Eight: The Challenger
The Eights challenge is to slow down and invite others to join them in advocating for people who are being mistreated and abused.
When Eights free themselves from their personality type, they become more compassionate and attentive to others, valuing their beliefs as equals. They show tenderness, vulnerability, and greater emotional expression, allowing their inner child to feel safe and playful.
Type Nine: The Peacemaker
Nines avoid conflict to keep the peace but need to learn to share their desires with others.
As Nines become less constricted by their personality type, they learn to feel special and important. They become better at connecting with their passion and pursuing their heart's desires. This increased sense of security allows them to confidently display and stand behind their accomplishments. They become more capable of taking powerful action globally and are highly focused on their goals. They begin to adopt a positive self-image and become more assertive and decisive.
Learning the Enneagram can help you to be your best, opening you up for the healing you need.
When you are at your best, you will be better able to notice the places in your body, heart and mind that need healing. Let’s begin by asking yourself these questions:
- What needs healing in your life?
- What stories do you tell yourself that you need to change?
- What relationships would you like to restore, and how do you do it?
- How do you prevent your pain and humiliation from being transferred to someone you love?
- What will help you acknowledge your pain so you can let it go?
- Who are the people you need to let go of?
- Can you forgive yourself for not protecting yourself?
A good place to start is to discover your Enneagram type. Your type reveals where you go when you are under stress. With practice, you learn to notice when you are getting stuck in your ego and discover healthier ways to respond to the stresses in your life.
This is hard work, but the result makes the effort worthwhile."
Roland Legge is an Accredited Professional Spiritual Life Coach
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