August 15, 2024

Nine Keys to Forgiveness: Finding your way through the Maze

August 15, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Forgiveness is misunderstood, especially among people of faith. How often have you heard the saying “forgive and forget”? If only it were that simple.

Declaring forgiveness is hollow if you cannot release the pain inflicted on you. It's meaningless if you keep passing on your pain to someone else. But when you let go, a sense of relief and freedom washes over you, paving the way for a brighter future.

If you do not release the pain, and this is not about forgetting, you will suppress the pain until it adversely affects your health.

Most of all, forgiveness takes time. It can be a lifelong process, but that doesn’t mean everything will be resolved.

The Enneagram is a powerful psychological and spiritual tool that can help you tap into the wisdom within and around you. Understanding and accessing the three centers of intelligence, sensations of the body, the emotions of the heart, and a quiet mind, can unlock the potential for forgiveness, both for yourself and others. This transformative process can lead to healing and the restoration of relationships, making the Enneagram a fascinating and inspiring journey of self-discovery.

You will benefit from learning from the wisdom of all nine types.

Here are nine ways to forgiveness through the Enneagram:

May 17, 2024

Getting Real with Spiritual Bypass: Finding Your Path to Freedom

May 17, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Spiritual bypassing, a phenomenon that can hinder your physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health, is often unknowingly encouraged on social media and even used as a marketing tool. However, it's important to understand that avoiding self-reflection and emotional processing can impede personal growth and well-being. By acknowledging and confronting your blind spots, fears, grief, and disappointments, you are not alone in your journey. You are supported and understood. Getting real with spiritual bypass will reveal new paths for your life.

Let’s begin with a definition of spiritual bypass I find helpful from an article by Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D., in Psychology Today.

February 02, 2024

How to Let Go of Anxiety (Allowing God to Shine Through You)

February 02, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

On a scale of one to ten, how much anxiety do you have, with one being no anxiety and ten being overwhelmed and incapacitated?

Many of us face anxiety that comes from trying to control things we have no control over. Do you worry about all the possible things that can go wrong and feel helpless to stop them?

Social media, television, and radio constantly remind us of the world's misfortunes, leaving us to wonder if we could be next.

Healing from anxiety takes time and spiritual work. The more you can connect with the holy within you, the more God can shine through you. Are you ready to let go of anxiety?

December 20, 2023

Nine Ways to Recover from Burnout (Through the Lens of the Enneagram)

December 20, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge - Spiritual Life Coach)/ Roland Legge

Are you feeling down, lacking energy, unmotivated, depressed and have feelings of hopelessness? Maybe you are burnt out.

Burnout gradually catches up with you when you fail to notice what is happening inside you.

Maybe you are in a relationship where you feel like you are walking on eggshells. Maybe you are in a job that under-uses your skills. Maybe you feel stuck in life and don’t know what to do.

Learning to face your reality while hard can be the critical step to move you towards healing. Learning the Enneagram can help you find your way to healing.

The Enneagram is a powerful spiritual tool to help you notice what is happening in your internal world. Through discerning your Enneagram type, you will discover what happens to you when you get stuck in the limitation of your ego.

Here are nine ways to begin your healing journey through the lens of the Enneagram. We will begin with the wisdom of the body center.

April 20, 2023

Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

April 20, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

We live in a complex world, yet we want to divide people into two genders. We expect men to be masculine and women to be feminine.

With modern psychology, we have learned that we have both within us. It is a like a continuum with masculinity and femininity at either end of the spectrum. Most of us land in the middle of the continuum. We all need a healthy masculinity and femininity.

Until recently, children have been raised to behave in specific ways depending on their gender identity. Girls were brought up to be caring, maternal, gentle and obedient to parents, particularly men.

Boys were considered tough, assertive, violent, and controlling. Boys grew up with the belief that they were superior to girls. You still hear the excuse for male violence with the saying, “Boys will be boys.” We still see signs of this in our society with a high rate of violence against girls and women.

Women and men are both hurt by this sexist divide. We are forced into being people we are not. When women are not permitted to be strong, assertive and outspoken, they often take out their anger on other women.

February 05, 2023

Finding God Within Ourselves

February 05, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

What is God

God is a big word. You and I have different images of God. When I refer to God, I am talking about an energy/force within and around you that connects everything, both animate and inanimate.

It is the higher power within us that speaks to us through our bodies (sensations), hearts (emotions) and heads (quiet mind).

God is a loving force that seeks to bring out the best in each of us and sustain a world where all life has a chance to thrive.

There is the spark of God in each of us. It is not something we earn. It is a gift given to us to be used wisely and with compassion.

The good news is that God is within all of us.

January 13, 2023

9 Ways to Create an Amazing Life After Divorce

January 13, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Acceptance

You entered your marriage thinking it would last the rest of your life. You had dreams of what it would be like to grow older together. All these dreams have now come to an end. After the divorce, what kind of life do you want?

Grief Work

When you accept that your marriage is over, you can begin the grieving process. Grieving takes time; sometimes, you will need help from a professional if you feel stuck in your emotions.

After you have done the work to ready yourself for your new life, you can begin the next chapter of your life.

Learning through the Enneagram

A great tool to help you renew your life is the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. The Enneagram comprises nine personality types, and you have all nine types within you. Each of us has one type we go to when we are stressed, and this is our personality type. Your type reveals to you the lens through which you see the world.

If you want to create an amazing life after the divorce, you will benefit from accessing the gifts from the nine types.

Here is how each of the nine types can help us to find new life after divorce:

December 15, 2022

The Ultimate Guide to Spirituality for Beginners

December 15, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Spirituality is a big word.

What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.

You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.

If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.

Religion and Spirituality

The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.

They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.

What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?

Religion is a powerful Source

Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.

Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.

Learn your Faith Tradition if you have One

If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.

In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.

Moving into the Secular World

As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.

The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.

How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?

October 29, 2022

What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

October 29, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Some might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.

Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.

Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.

August 20, 2021

7 Ways To Navigate The Seasons Of Your Life With Grace & Joy

August 20, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Remember when you were young, and summers seemed endless. It always felt like there was time to do anything you wanted. Nothing ever felt rushed.

As you got older, it felt like time moved more and more quickly. You suddenly hit the age when you start to think about what you will do after high school. The seasons of your life are beginning to move faster.

When you start to attend college or university, it feels like life is moving into the fast lane. With assignments, classes, clubs, sport and friends, you have little time for yourself.

As you begin new chapters of your life, there are always times of transition. You experience these transitions when you:

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