August 15, 2024

Nine Keys to Forgiveness: Finding your way through the Maze

August 15, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Forgiveness is misunderstood, especially among people of faith. How often have you heard the saying “forgive and forget”? If only it were that simple.

Declaring forgiveness is hollow if you cannot release the pain inflicted on you. It's meaningless if you keep passing on your pain to someone else. But when you let go, a sense of relief and freedom washes over you, paving the way for a brighter future.

If you do not release the pain, and this is not about forgetting, you will suppress the pain until it adversely affects your health.

Most of all, forgiveness takes time. It can be a lifelong process, but that doesn’t mean everything will be resolved.

The Enneagram is a powerful psychological and spiritual tool that can help you tap into the wisdom within and around you. Understanding and accessing the three centers of intelligence, sensations of the body, the emotions of the heart, and a quiet mind, can unlock the potential for forgiveness, both for yourself and others. This transformative process can lead to healing and the restoration of relationships, making the Enneagram a fascinating and inspiring journey of self-discovery.

You will benefit from learning from the wisdom of all nine types.

Here are nine ways to forgiveness through the Enneagram:

May 17, 2024

Getting Real with Spiritual Bypass: Finding Your Path to Freedom

May 17, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Spiritual bypassing, a phenomenon that can hinder your physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health, is often unknowingly encouraged on social media and even used as a marketing tool. However, it's important to understand that avoiding self-reflection and emotional processing can impede personal growth and well-being. By acknowledging and confronting your blind spots, fears, grief, and disappointments, you are not alone in your journey. You are supported and understood. Getting real with spiritual bypass will reveal new paths for your life.

Let’s begin with a definition of spiritual bypass I find helpful from an article by Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D., in Psychology Today.

March 11, 2023

7 Healthy Things To Do When You Disagree With Your Therapist's Advice→

March 11, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge - Spiritual Life Coach/ Roland Legge

It takes courage to ask for help and be willing to explore what is going on within your mind, body and heart.

Good for you if you have chosen to work with a therapist.

Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner. You need to find a person that you trust.

January 21, 2023

Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

January 21, 2023/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/ Roland Legge

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

December 15, 2022

The Ultimate Guide to Spirituality for Beginners

December 15, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Spirituality is a big word.

What does it mean for you? There are many different ways to be a spiritual person.

You can be a spiritual person in and outside of religion. Spirituality is about recognizing and experiencing the life force that connects you with everything animate and inanimate. It connects you with a greater power that humans have given many names.

If you are part of a faith community, you might refer to this power as God, Allah, Goddess, Mohammad, Jesus, Budah and many more.

Religion and Spirituality

The major religions of the world have much to teach us about spirituality. No religion is better than another; they are just different.

They all came into being to help people live joyful, meaningful and purposeful lives. People who inspired the great religions of the world saw a need to build more caring and just communities.

What does it mean for you to be a spiritual person?

Religion is a powerful Source

Religion has done great things, such as ending slavery, providing education for all, standing up for civil rights, bringing down the iron curtain and more.

Also, terrible things happen in the name of religion, such as the crusade, antisemitism, promotion of slavery, division, extremist ideology, Islamaphobia and Christian nationalism.

Learn your Faith Tradition if you have One

If you are part of a faith tradition, find a person who can help you to learn your tradition, letting go of what no longer serves you and practising traditions that give you life. Each religion has a different lens to experience spirituality.

In the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Islam and Christianity), a good guide would be to follow the great commandment to love God with all your heart, be kind to yourself and love your neighbour as yourself.

Moving into the Secular World

As much of the world has become more secular, spirituality has taken on a life beyond the world's religions. I am going to focus on finding spirituality outside of organized religion.

The irony is that many practices used in the secular world have origins in religion.

How would you describe your understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person to a friend?

October 29, 2022

What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

October 29, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Some might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.

Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.

Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.

September 02, 2022

7 Signs you are Having an Early Midlife Crisis and What to Do

September 02, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Have you reached a time when you start to feel like something is missing from your life? Perhaps you are questioning your purpose. You wonder where the time has gone, and you look older than you feel. Are you having an early midlife crisis?

Maybe you have not accomplished enough in life and fear it is too late to begin something new.

Maybe you are tempted to buy a fancy car, wear flashy jewelry, or get plastic surgery to stay looking young.

If you are experiencing any of these, you might have a midlife crisis.

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