7 Signs you are Having an Early Midlife Crisis and What to Do
/Have you reached a time when you start to feel like something is missing from your life? Perhaps you are questioning your purpose. You wonder where the time has gone, and you look older than you feel. Are you having an early midlife crisis?
Maybe you feel that you have not accomplished enough in life and fear it is too late to begin something new.
Maybe you are tempted to buy a fancy car, wear flashy jewelry, or get plastic surgery to stay looking young.
If you are experiencing any of these, you might have a midlife crisis.
I am going to discuss with you 7 signs that you are having a midlife crisis. Before we start, let us talk about what a midlife crisis is.
7 Common Signs of an Early Midlife Crisis
1. You get caught up in your regrets
It is easy to fixate on everything you wish you would have done or done differently. You spend too much time and energy worrying if you have made all the right choices. You persecute yourself for not making better decisions. Focusing on your mistakes leaves little space to create new opportunities in your life.
2. You get overwhelmed by the thought that you should be further ahead in your life
You find it hard to believe that life is going so fast. You had all these dreams, and here you are in your mid-fifties, not as far ahead as you would like.
You dreamed of retiring early, and the reality is now that you need to work at least to age sixty-five. All the trips you dreamed of taking are not happening, and you wonder if they ever will.
You had hoped to do much better and feel ashamed for not having a better-paying job. You become aware of missed opportunities. You missed the chance to live your dreams because you feared failure.
You might be having an early midlife crisis.
3. You feel like you are losing control of your mind
Your mind feels chaotic. You have difficulty sleeping because your mind does not want to quiet down. There is so much you want to do and do not know where to start.
Your inner critic wants to keep you safe by scarring you from trying anything new out of your comfort zone.
You feel anxious because you fixate on everything that can go wrong. In desperation to avoid the loud negative voice in your head, you ignore your dreams.
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4. You feel like some part of yourself is gone and never to come back
It feels like you have lost your zest for life. Things that used to be easy are now demanding. You have lost the motivation to try something new. Maybe you are experiencing an early midlife crisis.
5. You feel isolated and alone despite the family and friends you have around you
You can not figure out why you feel isolated when you have many friends and family in your life. Maybe it is because you don't feel understood. Perhaps it is because your interests have changed. Perhaps you are looking for deeper relationships than you have had. Maybe you are tired of being someone you are not.
6. You feel like you have wasted a portion of your life, and you will never get it back
Maybe you envisioned that you would be financially secure by age 45. The sad reality is that you don't have the money saved that you hoped you would have by now. You think of all the things you should have done or not done. You question why you don't have a better job. You feel like you have wasted too much time, and it is too late to catch up. You could be experiencing an early midlife crisis.
7. You feel hopeless about the future
You are feeling down about the future. You wonder if it is worth trying to change anything in your life. The world is changing fast, and you don't know how to catch up. You worry about inflation, job opportunities, lack of retirement funds, climate change and the environment. You get down in the dumps and have difficulty trying to get out of your negative attitude.
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What do you do if signs of an early midlife crisis are present?
First, remember that you are not alone. Find a friend or family member to talk with about what you are experiencing. Think of a person who will listen to you without judging you. Don't be afraid to get professional help from a coach, counsellor or psychologist. You don't need to suffer alone. There is a way out of this challenging time in your life.
Second, remember that life is full of change, and that is okay. Learn to accept the new you even amid chaos. Give yourself space to allow the new you to shine.
It is okay to be unhappy. Do not be afraid to feel the pain in your body, heart and mind. Take the time to grieve the loss of your old self, creating space for the new you to take your place in the world.
Moving into a time of rebirth creates some space for you to discover who you are in this time of life. Take the time to experiment. Maybe you want to start a new career or return to school. Perhaps you want to learn to dance, play an instrument or take martial arts. It is never too late to start something new.
The good news is that you will make it through this transition time and find joy again. You will not only make it through but also find greater purpose, happiness and satisfaction in life than you ever dreamed was possible. Your reward is great for doing this vital work.
Most of us will have some sort of midlife crisis, some more dramatic than others. Your inner critic will be active, telling you off for everything you should not have done or did not do. Going through an early midlife crisis is hard work.
During this time of transition is a fantastic opportunity to get in touch with what you want in life. What are the dreams you still want to make happen? What are some new possibilities that are starting to germinate in you?
If you do this well, you will find a greater purpose and joy in your life. It is worth the work.
Get all the support and help you need. To live life well, we need to support each other. Sometimes we need others to help us see what is happening within us because we are too close to see it.
You are worth the effort. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Roland Legge can help you to find your way through your early midlife crisis. Roland Legge is a Certified Spiritual Life Coach and a minister in the United Church of Canada in Yorkton, Saskatchewan. You can join my newsletter for free advice and get your free E-book and sign up for Your 30 Minute Coffee with Roland to learn more about the Enneagram and Coaching.
