How to Let Go of Anxiety (Allowing God to Shine Through You)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How to Let Go of Anxiety (Allowing God to Shine Through You)

On a scale of one to ten, how much anxiety do you have, with one being no anxiety and ten being overwhelmed and incapacitated?

Many of us face anxiety that comes from trying to control things we have no control over. Do you worry about all the possible things that can go wrong and feel helpless to stop them?

Social media, television, and radio constantly remind us of the world's misfortunes, leaving us to wonder if we could be next.

Healing from anxiety takes time and spiritual work. The more you can connect with the holy within you, the more God can shine through you. Are you ready to let go of anxiety?

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Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Five Ways to Cultivate a Healthy Masculinity and Femininity

We live in a complex world, yet we want to divide people into two genders. We expect men to be masculine and women to be feminine. 

With modern psychology, we have learned that we have both within us. It is a like a continuum with masculinity and femininity at either end of the spectrum. Most of us land in the middle of the continuum. We all need a healthy masculinity and femininity.

Until recently, children have been raised to behave in specific ways depending on their gender identity. Girls were brought up to be caring, maternal, gentle and obedient to parents, particularly men.

Boys were considered tough, assertive, violent, and controlling. Boys grew up with the belief that they were superior to girls. You still hear the excuse for male violence with the saying, “Boys will be boys.” We still see signs of this in our society with a high rate of violence against girls and women.

Women and men are both hurt by this sexist divide. We are forced into being people we are not. When women are not permitted to be strong, assertive and outspoken, they often take out their anger on other women. 

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9 Ways to Detox Your Soul through your Body, Heart and Mind

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
9 Ways to Detox Your Soul through your Body, Heart and Mind

 You are a complex being. Your life will flow when you pay attention to your soul. To do this work requires patience, determination and commitment.   Doing a soul detox is difficult, but the results are life-changing.

The Enneagram is a great tool to help you do this work. It is like a spiritual map to show you how and the type of work you need to do. The Enneagram is not enough in itself. You must find practices that will help you connect with your soul through your body, heart and mind.

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Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/
Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.  

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

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What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
What is the Hardest Enneagram Type to Love?

Some might say Enneagram Type Eight, the Challenger, is the hardest to love. At their average levels, the Challenger can be forceful and aggressive. They assert control over themselves and others. They will push even harder whenever they feel someone is trying to hold them back. Eights can be intimidating because they say whatever is on their mind. They don't care what other people think of them.

Eights feel vulnerable. Most people don't realize they are big-hearted people. Unfortunately, as a way to survive, they close their hearts down because they believe it is unsafe to be weak and vulnerable.

Average eights will hide their true feelings and expect people to try and control them. This wound sets up an in-balance of power, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflict. The eight is always ready for battle, increasing the potential for severe conflict or the silencing of the non-eight partner.

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How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

/ REL Consultants Coaching (Roland Legge)/
How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

You have an Inner Critic:

The inner critic has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar. You will notice that the negative voice of the inner voice gets louder whenever you are doing something new. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

The first step is to recognize when the inner critic is speaking. Until you become more self-aware, you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it?

You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile and judgmental voice.

Over time you will learn to notice when your inner critic is active. Once you are aware this is happening, you can choose to have a conversation with this part of you and reassure this part of yourself that you are capable of taking good care of yourself.

You might want to give your inner critic a name so it will be easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of you because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

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10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

Going through a divorce may have been one of the most challenging times in your life. Now that you are through the divorce, you can move ahead. You now have a fantastic opportunity to do a life reset. Now is a time to heal and discern what is most vital for you to live your life. It is time to claim your new life after divorce.

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7 Signs you are Having an Early Midlife Crisis and What to Do

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
7 Signs you are Having an Early Midlife Crisis and What to Do

Have you reached a time when you start to feel like something is missing from your life? Perhaps you are questioning your purpose. You wonder where the time has gone, and you look older than you feel. Are you having an early midlife crisis?

Maybe you have not accomplished enough in life and fear it is too late to begin something new.

Maybe you are tempted to buy a fancy car, wear flashy jewelry, or get plastic surgery to stay looking young.

If you are experiencing any of these, you might have a midlife crisis.

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7 Ways To Navigate The Seasons Of Your Life With Grace & Joy

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
7 Ways To Navigate The Seasons Of Your Life With Grace & Joy

Remember when you were young, and summers seemed endless. It always felt like there was time to do anything you wanted. Nothing ever felt rushed.

As you got older, it felt like time moved more and more quickly. You suddenly hit the age when you start to think about what you will do after high school. The seasons of your life are beginning to move faster.

When you start to attend college or university, it feels like life is moving into the fast lane. With assignments, classes, clubs, sport and friends, you have little time for yourself.

As you begin new chapters of your life, there are always times of transition. You experience these transitions when you:

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When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

How do I let go of a dream that was my relationship with my ex?

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in your life, even when done respectfully.

You are now divorced, and suddenly reality hits. You come home from work, and there is no one to share the highs and lows of the day. You have to do things that your partner used to do and learn again how to do it. You want to go out for dinner, but who do you ask. Most of your recent friends are people you hung out with as couples.

You will need to make time to grieve. You have many questions and concerns that working through will help you begin letting go.

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