Getting Real with Spiritual Bypass: Finding Your Path to Freedom

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Getting Real with Spiritual Bypass: Finding Your Path to Freedom

Spiritual bypassing, a phenomenon that can hinder your physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health, is often unknowingly encouraged on social media and even used as a marketing tool. However, it's important to understand that avoiding self-reflection and emotional processing can impede personal growth and well-being. By acknowledging and confronting your blind spots, fears, grief, and disappointments, you are not alone in your journey. You are supported and understood.  Getting real with spiritual bypass will reveal new paths for your life.

Let’s begin with a definition of spiritual bypass I find helpful from an article by Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D., in Psychology Today.

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7 Healthy Things To Do When You Disagree With Your Therapist's Advice→

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge - Spiritual Life Coach/
7 Healthy Things To Do When You Disagree With Your Therapist's Advice

It takes courage to ask for help and be willing to explore what is going on within your mind, body and heart. 

Good for you if you have chosen to work with a therapist.

Finding the right therapist is like finding the right partner. You need to find a person that you trust.

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Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/
Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.  

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

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How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

/ REL Consultants Coaching (Roland Legge)/
How to Transform Your Inner Critic into an Inner Coach

You have an Inner Critic:

The inner critic has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it can become a problem because it wants to limit you to only doing what is familiar. You will notice that the negative voice of the inner voice gets louder whenever you are doing something new. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

The first step is to recognize when the inner critic is speaking. Until you become more self-aware, you won't likely notice the negative voice because it is all you hear. You are convinced this is the truth, so why fight it?

You will know the inner critic is talking because of the loud, impatient, demeaning, hostile and judgmental voice.

Over time you will learn to notice when your inner critic is active. Once you are aware this is happening, you can choose to have a conversation with this part of you and reassure this part of yourself that you are capable of taking good care of yourself.

You might want to give your inner critic a name so it will be easier to converse with this part of you. Be kind to this part of you because it wants to keep you safe. An excellent way to quiet your inner critic is by inviting it to use its energy for positive things, such as reminding you to slow down and breathe. Are you ready to move from listening to the inner critic to the inner coach?

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How To Stop Self Sabotaging Relationships?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How To Stop Self Sabotaging Relationships?

You hunger for relationships. It is so exciting when you find the right person. Yet you are scared because your relationships never last longer than two months.

When your relationship gets near the end of two months, your inner critic works hard to end your connection to prevent you from being hurt.

Becoming self-aware of your inner critic will help you to stop self-sabotaging relationships.

The good news is that you can have long-lasting relationships. With greater awareness, you will notice when you get caught in the old stories that get you into trouble in your relationships.

Here are 8 ways to stop self-sabotaging relationships:

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How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But once you are through it, it is time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter.

First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship, and how did you hinder it.

If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behaviour.

If you feel stuck after the end of a relationship, do not be afraid to get help. Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was and focus on what you need to learn.

There are many places to get help. Divorce coaches and counsellors can help you through the immediate pain of separation, and coaches such as myself will help you re-create your life.

What dreams do you have that have gone unfulfilled unto now? Post-divorce is a time to focus on what gives you life, stop procrastinating from following your dreams and then make it happen.

Here are 9 ways to rebuild your life:

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Developing A Practice To Listen To Your Inner Voice (Once & For All)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Developing A Practice To Listen To Your Inner Voice (Once & For All)

You have wisdom within you, and this is the voice of your true self. With practice, you can learn to notice and listen to your inner voice.

You have an inner voice whether you are a practising member of a religion. It is given to all people regardless of their ethnicity, age, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or philosophy.

I am a coach and a teacher of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a language that can bring all people together. It is more than a personality tool that can help you to access your inner voice.

Your inner voice arises from a direct connection with the energy that connects everything in the universe together. Some people call this God. Some people call this spirit. Some people call this oneness.

No matter what you call this higher power that connects all of life, animate or inanimate, together, it is real and accessible to us all. Listen to your inner voice, and you will find your purpose.

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6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

Most relationships begin well. When you are first in love, everything your beloved does is fantastic, cute and endearing. They can do no wrong.

As you move beyond the honeymoon phase, the blinder comes off, and you see your partner for they are.

Little habits of your partner start to annoy you. Maybe they never pick up their clothes off the floor. They never follow through on what they promise to do.

Is this person someone you are willing to give it your all. Is it worth your effort to see if you can make this relationship work?

Do the concerns seem minor compared to the benefits. Do you still want to see this man or woman every day? Do you feel like the most important person in the world when you are with them?

If you want to give your relationship a fair chance to grow, you need to invest time in the union. Make sure you have time every day to check in with each other. Create a safe space to share whatever is going on in your lives.

If you do run into problems, don't be afraid to ask for help, whether that be a religious leader, friend, family member or professional coach or counsellor.

If, after all this work, you are still having doubts about the relationships, here are six signs that it is time to end your relationship.

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Guest Blog: You Love Your BFF   Make Sure You Don't Let Them Forget It

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Guest Blog: You Love Your BFF   Make Sure You Don't Let Them Forget It

Your best friend is there for you through thick and thin. Whether you regularly talk about how much you appreciate each other, or you have a more strong-and-silent sort of friendship, you know that your life is better because your best friend is in it. It's easy to take the people we love for granted, and letting then know how glad you are to have them in your life is a great way to celebrate the special bond that you have. Let's take a look at some fun ways to celebrate the joy of having a best friend in your life, and letting your partner in crime know how much they mean to you.

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Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.  

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce:

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