January 13, 2023

9 Ways to Create an Amazing Life After Divorce

January 13, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Acceptance

You entered your marriage thinking it would last the rest of your life. You had dreams of what it would be like to grow older together. All these dreams have now come to an end. After the divorce, what kind of life do you want?

Grief Work

When you accept that your marriage is over, you can begin the grieving process. Grieving takes time; sometimes, you will need help from a professional if you feel stuck in your emotions.

After you have done the work to ready yourself for your new life, you can begin the next chapter of your life.

Learning through the Enneagram

A great tool to help you renew your life is the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram. The Enneagram comprises nine personality types, and you have all nine types within you. Each of us has one type we go to when we are stressed, and this is our personality type. Your type reveals to you the lens through which you see the world.

If you want to create an amazing life after the divorce, you will benefit from accessing the gifts from the nine types.

Here is how each of the nine types can help us to find new life after divorce:

September 17, 2022

10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce

September 17, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce may have been one of the most challenging times in your life. Now that you are through the divorce, you can move ahead. You now have a fantastic opportunity to do a life reset. Now is a time to heal and discern what is most vital for you to live your life. It is time to claim your new life after divorce.

August 16, 2022

Enneagram Wings: How to Find Yours & Why They Matter

August 16, 2022/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Why the Enneagram? The Enneagram is a fantastic tool to help you to be your finest. It reveals the lies you tell yourself, your fears, and your unexpressed emotions. It points you towards the areas of your life that need healing. It shows you a path forward.

Once you name your Enneagram type, the adventure begins. Your type is where you go under stress; It is the automatic behaviours you do without intention or effort. It is your default when the rest of you is closed down.

Learning your type can take some months, even years. Some online tests can help you, but there is no perfect one.

September 10, 2021

Now That Your Divorce Is Over, What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

September 10, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Your divorce is over, and you are wondering if you are ready to begin a new relationship. It is never wise to jump into a new relationship quickly. If you are honest with yourself, you will know when you are ready.

This in-between time is an excellent opportunity to reflect on this question: what are you looking for in a relationship? Take the time to learn from past relationships to clarify what you need and what would be nice.

Here are eight questions to ask yourself to help you name what you need in a relationship:

June 04, 2021

When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

June 04, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

How do I let go of a dream that was my relationship with my ex?

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in your life, even when done respectfully.

You are now divorced, and suddenly reality hits. You come home from work, and there is no one to share the highs and lows of the day. You have to do things that your partner used to do and learn again how to do it. You want to go out for dinner, but who do you ask. Most of your recent friends are people you hung out with as couples.

You will need to make time to grieve. You have many questions and concerns that working through will help you begin letting go.

April 05, 2021

How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

April 05, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But once you are through it, it is time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter.

First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship, and how did you hinder it.

If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behaviour.

If you feel stuck after the end of a relationship, do not be afraid to get help. Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was and focus on what you need to learn.

There are many places to get help. Divorce coaches and counsellors can help you through the immediate pain of separation, and coaches such as myself will help you re-create your life.

What dreams do you have that have gone unfulfilled unto now? Post-divorce is a time to focus on what gives you life, stop procrastinating from following your dreams and then make it happen.

Here are 9 ways to rebuild your life:

February 18, 2021

Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

February 18, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You were in a long-term relationship, and It did not have a happy ending. You could not wait to end the relationship. Now you are out of the relationship, and you ask yourself, why am I so lonely.

August 26, 2020

5 Ways to Thrive After a Divorce: How to get the best out of life?

August 26, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Even the best of divorces is not easy. If you do your work, you will come out of this time stronger, healthier and more confident.

Ending your relationship may feel like a chaotic time. The only way to release these intense feelings, thoughts and sensations are to move through them.

You are likely to feel sadness, anger, despair, hopelessness and confusion. One moment you will be happy, the next you will be crying.

You are not going crazy. This roller coaster of emotions is your pyche’s way to heal. You need to give yourself space to re-orient to the world without this person in your daily life.

Find safe spaces and people to allow yourself to feel the pain. Ignoring or avoiding the pain will only make it worse.

The more you try to ignore it or suppress it, the worse it is going to get.

You may feel peace for a moment, but those feelings will come back even more powerfully at inconvenient times.

You are not just grieving the loss of your relationship but what it could have been.

Most people take at least a year to move through this process, but many take longer. If you are feeling stuck, it would be wise for you to consider getting professional help.

November 03, 2019

Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

November 03, 2019/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life. Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce:

October 12, 2019

4 Signs you are ready to move on after your divorce

October 12, 2019/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

No divorce is easy! Even in the best circumstances, when you can both agree to the terms of the divorce it is still stressful.

Right after your divorce, you will need all the support you can receive. Friends and family might be enough. But if you are having a hard time moving ahead you would benefit from psychological help. There is no shame in getting help because this demonstrates your courage.

No matter how you feel, take your time to work through the pain of ending your relationship. It is time to focus on your own needs.

Here are four signs you are ready to move on after your divorce:

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