August 15, 2024

Nine Keys to Forgiveness: Finding your way through the Maze

August 15, 2024/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Forgiveness is misunderstood, especially among people of faith. How often have you heard the saying “forgive and forget”? If only it were that simple.

Declaring forgiveness is hollow if you cannot release the pain inflicted on you. It's meaningless if you keep passing on your pain to someone else. But when you let go, a sense of relief and freedom washes over you, paving the way for a brighter future.

If you do not release the pain, and this is not about forgetting, you will suppress the pain until it adversely affects your health.

Most of all, forgiveness takes time. It can be a lifelong process, but that doesn’t mean everything will be resolved.

The Enneagram is a powerful psychological and spiritual tool that can help you tap into the wisdom within and around you. Understanding and accessing the three centers of intelligence, sensations of the body, the emotions of the heart, and a quiet mind, can unlock the potential for forgiveness, both for yourself and others. This transformative process can lead to healing and the restoration of relationships, making the Enneagram a fascinating and inspiring journey of self-discovery.

You will benefit from learning from the wisdom of all nine types.

Here are nine ways to forgiveness through the Enneagram:

December 20, 2023

Nine Ways to Recover from Burnout (Through the Lens of the Enneagram)

December 20, 2023/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge - Spiritual Life Coach)/ Roland Legge

Are you feeling down, lacking energy, unmotivated, depressed and have feelings of hopelessness? Maybe you are burnt out.

Burnout gradually catches up with you when you fail to notice what is happening inside you.

Maybe you are in a relationship where you feel like you are walking on eggshells. Maybe you are in a job that under-uses your skills. Maybe you feel stuck in life and don’t know what to do.

Learning to face your reality while hard can be the critical step to move you towards healing. Learning the Enneagram can help you find your way to healing.

The Enneagram is a powerful spiritual tool to help you notice what is happening in your internal world. Through discerning your Enneagram type, you will discover what happens to you when you get stuck in the limitation of your ego.

Here are nine ways to begin your healing journey through the lens of the Enneagram. We will begin with the wisdom of the body center.

January 21, 2023

Why Being Self-Loving Makes You a Better Partner

January 21, 2023/ REL Consultants (Spiritual Life Coach and Enneagram Teacher)/ Roland Legge

What does it mean to love yourself and be a better partner? Have you found a way to love yourself while ensuring you meet all your needs? Can you love yourself as much as you love your partner and kids?

How good are you at loving yourself? Do you get plenty of sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, pay attention to your emotions, enjoy time with friends and family and get help when needed? How you answer this question will reveal your strengths and growing edges around self-love.

If you are struggling to care for yourself, first, you must get over the belief drilled into you as a child that you need to always put the needs of others before your own. The pressure to put others first is especially true for women who are expected to sacrifice themselves for the needs of their families.

You get into relationship problems when you expect others to meet your needs. The reality is that you are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you ensure that you are getting your needs met. You are no longer relying on another person to make you okay. Being grounded in your body, heart, and head help you be a better partner.

In any relationship, you need balance. Yes, there will be times that you will happily go out of your way to help another person when they are having a rough time. It only becomes a problem when you are always the one to give up your life for them.

In a healthy relationship, there will be a balance over time. You will both be there to support and encourage each other. No one will take advantage of the other.

Here are Eight ways that loving yourself helps you to be a better partner:

September 10, 2021

Now That Your Divorce Is Over, What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

September 10, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Your divorce is over, and you are wondering if you are ready to begin a new relationship. It is never wise to jump into a new relationship quickly. If you are honest with yourself, you will know when you are ready.

This in-between time is an excellent opportunity to reflect on this question: what are you looking for in a relationship? Take the time to learn from past relationships to clarify what you need and what would be nice.

Here are eight questions to ask yourself to help you name what you need in a relationship:

August 20, 2021

7 Ways To Navigate The Seasons Of Your Life With Grace & Joy

August 20, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Remember when you were young, and summers seemed endless. It always felt like there was time to do anything you wanted. Nothing ever felt rushed.

As you got older, it felt like time moved more and more quickly. You suddenly hit the age when you start to think about what you will do after high school. The seasons of your life are beginning to move faster.

When you start to attend college or university, it feels like life is moving into the fast lane. With assignments, classes, clubs, sport and friends, you have little time for yourself.

As you begin new chapters of your life, there are always times of transition. You experience these transitions when you:

June 04, 2021

When Divorce Becomes A Reality: How To Let Go Of A Dream & Move On With Your Life

June 04, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

How do I let go of a dream that was my relationship with my ex?

Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in your life, even when done respectfully.

You are now divorced, and suddenly reality hits. You come home from work, and there is no one to share the highs and lows of the day. You have to do things that your partner used to do and learn again how to do it. You want to go out for dinner, but who do you ask. Most of your recent friends are people you hung out with as couples.

You will need to make time to grieve. You have many questions and concerns that working through will help you begin letting go.

April 21, 2021

9 Insights Your Enneagram Coach Can Help Reveal To You For Greater Happiness & Joy

April 21, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Your enneagram coach can help you strengthen your self-confidence, find greater joy, find your purpose, and feel your courage. All this new confidence and passion can inspire you to follow your dreams.

The enneagram, along with coaching, can help you to discover who the universe desires you to be. First, it helps you to notice when you are telling yourself a lie. It enables you to connect with your inner wisdom. Having access to your inner wisdom will help you to live the best life you can.

Here are 9 insights:

April 05, 2021

How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

April 05, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But once you are through it, it is time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter.

First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship, and how did you hinder it.

If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behaviour.

If you feel stuck after the end of a relationship, do not be afraid to get help. Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was and focus on what you need to learn.

There are many places to get help. Divorce coaches and counsellors can help you through the immediate pain of separation, and coaches such as myself will help you re-create your life.

What dreams do you have that have gone unfulfilled unto now? Post-divorce is a time to focus on what gives you life, stop procrastinating from following your dreams and then make it happen.

Here are 9 ways to rebuild your life:

January 17, 2021

How To Read The Enneagram Diagram Like A Pro

January 17, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

The Enneagram diagram reveals the powerful teachings of the Enneagram. It provides you with a path to physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.

Exploring this powerful image shows you a path to your best self. It helps you become self-aware, and with practice, you can catch yourself before you move into unhealthy behaviour.

January 07, 2021

Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

January 07, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.

All your emotions are close to the surface, and you are angry at life. You expected to be in this relationship until death.

You are grieving what could have been. You are losing your partner with who you could share your day. It feels so lonely now.

It now feels awkward to go out with couples who you used to hang out with together. Over time you will discover who you are, your real friends.

You are responsible for everything in your household. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Childcare is now a lot more complicated. You suddenly find yourself as a single parent; you are exhausted. You are embarrassed to ask for help.

You are feeling angry at your spouse and probably mad at yourself. You ask yourself, why did I put up with the behaviour of this person for so long? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I see this coming months ago?

If there were an affair by one of you, feelings of betrayal would magnify your emotions even more. You will feel angry, enraged, hurt, sad and disappointed. You will have many reasons to be angry at life.

Moving through a divorce into new life takes time. The only way to move through this tumultuous time is to experience your sadness, hurt, anger and disappointments. Hiding from your pain is only going to make it worse in the long run.

rolandlegge@gmail.com

REL Consultants Blog