April 05, 2021

How To Make Your Life After Divorce Truly The Best Years Of Your Life

April 05, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Moving through separation and divorce is one of the most challenging things you will do in life. But once you are through it, it is time to re-imagine your life for the next chapter.

First, you need to acknowledge your part in the relationship. How did you enhance the relationship, and how did you hinder it.

If you do not learn your lessons, you will repeat them until you take full responsibility for your behaviour.

If you feel stuck after the end of a relationship, do not be afraid to get help. Seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is now time to let go of your past relationship, accept it for what it was and focus on what you need to learn.

There are many places to get help. Divorce coaches and counsellors can help you through the immediate pain of separation, and coaches such as myself will help you re-create your life.

What dreams do you have that have gone unfulfilled unto now? Post-divorce is a time to focus on what gives you life, stop procrastinating from following your dreams and then make it happen.

Here are 9 ways to rebuild your life:

March 14, 2021

13 Ways Your Inner Wisdom Shows Up On A Daily Basis

March 14, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You are born with wisdom. You are wiser than you think!

You have access to your inner wisdom through your three centers of intelligence. When you are physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy, you have access to wisdom that comes from the sensations of your body, the emotions of your heart and an openness to something greater through your quiet mind.

February 18, 2021

Why Am I So Lonely? I Wanted My Relationship to End & Now I am Miserable

February 18, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You were in a long-term relationship, and It did not have a happy ending. You could not wait to end the relationship. Now you are out of the relationship, and you ask yourself, why am I so lonely.

January 30, 2021

How Your Fear Of Change Is Keeping You From The Life, You're Meant To Live

January 30, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Change is a constant. It will never stop. If you want to follow your dreams, you will need to overcome your fear of change.

Often it is the voice of the inner critic that gets you in trouble. The inner critic is that part of your ego that wants to keep you safe by keeping to what it knows.

Your inner critic was necessary for your survival when you were an infant and child. However, it becomes a problem when you reach adulthood if you are not aware of how this negative voice impacts you.

January 07, 2021

Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

January 07, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.

All your emotions are close to the surface, and you are angry at life. You expected to be in this relationship until death.

You are grieving what could have been. You are losing your partner with who you could share your day. It feels so lonely now.

It now feels awkward to go out with couples who you used to hang out with together. Over time you will discover who you are, your real friends.

You are responsible for everything in your household. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Childcare is now a lot more complicated. You suddenly find yourself as a single parent; you are exhausted. You are embarrassed to ask for help.

You are feeling angry at your spouse and probably mad at yourself. You ask yourself, why did I put up with the behaviour of this person for so long? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I see this coming months ago?

If there were an affair by one of you, feelings of betrayal would magnify your emotions even more. You will feel angry, enraged, hurt, sad and disappointed. You will have many reasons to be angry at life.

Moving through a divorce into new life takes time. The only way to move through this tumultuous time is to experience your sadness, hurt, anger and disappointments. Hiding from your pain is only going to make it worse in the long run.

November 20, 2020

Which Enneagram Type is Most Common and Why

November 20, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Which Enneagram type is most common is not clear. Most of the information available to us today is based on the anecdotal experience of Enneagram practitioners. I am not aware of any scientific studies. It would be hard to do a scientific study because there are too many variables that make up the complexity of personality.

Many Enneagram practitioners have noticed, based on anecdotal experience, the six, seven and nines are most common, at least in North America.

September 08, 2020

Discovering the Power of Love through the Enneagram

September 08, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Love is an overused word. Love is about bringing out the best in each other. Love is a choice.

When we choose to love another person, we respect them whether or not we are happy with them. What does love mean for you?

Discovering your Enneagram type can help you to love yourself, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

What is the Enneagram? It is a psychological-spiritual map to help you be your best.

We arrive in this world with one of the nine types to survive in the world. Your type is the same as your ego.

Your type only becomes a problem when you stay stuck in the limitations of your Enneagram type.

Your goal is to get as healthy as you can in all nine types. It is all about learning to notice how you show up in the world every day. It is learning to see what you do automatically without thinking. It is learning to connect with your inner wisdom, which will give you the freedom and courage to be you.

Click Here to Learn more about the Enneagram

The more you learn about your type will help you to notice how you are behaving. It will give you signs for when you go into unconscious behaviour. Even more importantly, it will show you away back into presence.

Once you learn your partner’s type, you will get insights to help you to support them and, most, discover the best ways to love them.

Here are nine ways to love yourself and the love of your life:

February 27, 2020

Nine Ways to Heal after the Death of a Loved One

February 27, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

The death of a loved one, whether that be a family member or friend, is hard. The worst thing you can do is hold in your emotions. Holding in your feelings will only make you feel worse.

If you fear losing control, you are among many. You can only hold it together for a short time before you feel the strain.

Avoiding grief is destructive. It will make you sick. The longer you hold it in, the more it is going to hurt you.

Grief is a natural response to loss. If you are willing to take the journey through the intense emotions, you will find healing. Life will never return to the way it was before death, but you will find a new purpose to life.

Here are nine ways to heal after the death of a loved one:

December 19, 2019

Five Ways to connect with the spirit of Christmas without going to Church

December 19, 2019/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Christmas is a busy time of year full of activities. People judge you if you don’t seem happy.

You, among many, find it hard to slow down at this time of year. There is so much to prepare, people to entertain and perfect gifts to buy.

You feel pressure to make everything seem right for you and your family. You want to make sure that everyone who comes to your home has a perfect time.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, you are among many. But there is hope.

Christmas is really about the spirit of spreading, love, peace and justice around the world. It is about slowing down enough to listen to the spirit speaking in you.

This holiday season is about showing gratitude for all the people in your life and for the many blessings you enjoy.

Even for churchgoers, it can be tempting to miss church with all the pressures of Christmas.

For the many who have lost connection with Christianity, this time of year can feel empty. The good news is that it does not have to be so.

You are a spiritual being whether or not you go to church, mosque, temple, synagogue or any other place of worship. You have worth just for being you.

It is good to slow down to feel your connection to spirit. Here are five ways to connect with the spirit of Christmas without going to church.

November 30, 2019

Type One: The Need to get it Right

November 30, 2019/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing! You are unique! There is no one exactly like you! You are fully, you!

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when we come of age and don’t realize how stuck you are in your type. You don’t understand how your personality is limiting your choices and threatening your freedom in the world.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different. Your type shows you where you are already stuck. Working with this fantastic tool helps you to escape the limitations of your personality, getting you stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types. Remember, you have all nine types within you.

rolandlegge@gmail.com

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