January 07, 2021

Why It's Totally Normal To Be Angry At Life After A Divorce (And How To Start To Let It Go)

January 07, 2021/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.

All your emotions are close to the surface, and you are angry at life. You expected to be in this relationship until death.

You are grieving what could have been. You are losing your partner with who you could share your day. It feels so lonely now.

It now feels awkward to go out with couples who you used to hang out with together. Over time you will discover who you are, your real friends.

You are responsible for everything in your household. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Childcare is now a lot more complicated. You suddenly find yourself as a single parent; you are exhausted. You are embarrassed to ask for help.

You are feeling angry at your spouse and probably mad at yourself. You ask yourself, why did I put up with the behaviour of this person for so long? What did I do wrong? Why didn't I see this coming months ago?

If there were an affair by one of you, feelings of betrayal would magnify your emotions even more. You will feel angry, enraged, hurt, sad and disappointed. You will have many reasons to be angry at life.

Moving through a divorce into new life takes time. The only way to move through this tumultuous time is to experience your sadness, hurt, anger and disappointments. Hiding from your pain is only going to make it worse in the long run.

December 11, 2020

The 3 Enneagram Instincts and How they Can Transform your Life

December 11, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You are born with three instincts. We could not survive without them. However, there is an instinct we over-rely on. The middle one is our strength, and the third one is our blind spot.

The three instincts are:

Self Preservation

· Social

· Sexual

Discovering your Enneagram instincts and learning how they transform your life can take you to a new level of consciousness.

December 02, 2020

Enneagram Type Nine: Finding the courage to be Yourself

December 02, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing, unique, and there is no one exactly like you!

In the first few months of life, you are given one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when you come of age and don't realize how much your fear of trying something new limits your freedom.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are merely different. Your type shows you where you are already stuck. Working with this fantastic tool helps you break free of your personality's limitations, allowing you to become stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I will take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types. Remember, you have all nine types within you.

November 26, 2020

3 Ways your Ego deludes You

November 26, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You could not have survived your childhood without your ego. Your ego helped you to understand yourself as an individual. It enabled you to stay safe.

As you grow into adulthood, your ego, if left unchecked, will cause problems. Your ego likes to keep you doing the familiar. It loves the status-quo.

Your ego wants to keep you safe, but it is robbing you of new and exciting experiences. Anytime you try something different, it will do its best to stop you through the inner critic's negative voice.

A great way to stop your ego from controlling your life is to learn the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram.

The first step is to discern your Enneagram type, and this can take some time. There are nine different possibilities. The lens through which you experience the world is different for each of the nine Enneagram types.

Once you discover your type, the Enneagram provides you with a map for personal development. It shows you the places where you get stuck in your ego and how to become free.

As you become self-aware, you will catch yourself getting stuck in the delusion of the ego.

Here are three ways the ego deludes you.

November 20, 2020

Which Enneagram Type is Most Common and Why

November 20, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Which Enneagram type is most common is not clear. Most of the information available to us today is based on the anecdotal experience of Enneagram practitioners. I am not aware of any scientific studies. It would be hard to do a scientific study because there are too many variables that make up the complexity of personality.

Many Enneagram practitioners have noticed, based on anecdotal experience, the six, seven and nines are most common, at least in North America.

November 18, 2020

Three Ways to Overcome Conflict and Save Your Marriage

November 18, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

You are going to face conflict. Conflict happens whenever there are two or more people in a room. Conflict occurs when people have different opinions. Conflict is neither good nor bad.

If you are honest, you will acknowledge that you and your partner don't agree on everything. You see the world differently because of the influence of personality.

A healthy marriage requires both of you to know your selves. A great tool to help you do this is the Enneagram. In the Enneagram, there are nine different types, with each type having its strengths and weaknesses.

Learning your Enneagram type gives you a psychological-spiritual map to help you become conscious of the automatic behaviours you do unconsciously. Often these are behaviours that no longer serve you.

Once you become conscious of how you show up in the world, you can make different choices that will serve you better. As you learn to walk your talk, you will be better able to resolve conflict with your partner. You will also be more open to hearing what your partner has to say.

If you both do your work, it will be much easier to find win-win solutions to resolve your disagreements.

With the Enneagram as your starting point, here are three ways to overcome conflict and save your marriage.

November 14, 2020

Awesome Stress-busting tips for all nine Enneagram Types

November 14, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

The Enneagram is a psychological, spiritual map for personal growth. The Enneagram helps you to make a conscious change in your life. As you become self-aware of your behaviour and mindset, you can make better choices.

The Enneagram will point out where you are most likely to get stuck and give you choices that are more in harmony with your needs. It will help you recognize unconscious behaviour allowing you to respond in new and healthier ways.

The Enneagram tackles stress. One popular teaching from Russ Hudson and Don Riso talks about how stress affects our behaviour. Each Enneagram type disintegrates under pressure and shows up in the most dysfunctional behaviour of another type. This dynamic will help you understand why you behave differently under stress.

Stress can affect us at any time, whether you are in heavy traffic, starting a new job or waiting for the results of a test from your doctor. When you get stuck in stress, it pushes your natural personality to its limit and takes on some of the unhealthy behaviours of another type. At times like this, you do not feel like yourself.

November 03, 2020

4 Ways To Overcome Fear & Rediscover The Sacred Right Now→

November 03, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

Learning how to overcome fear takes a little work, especially when it's almost impossible to avoid the noise of fear, rage, and greed in the world.

It comes at you fast and furious through radio, T.V., and social media.

You probably don't have the luxury to go into the wilderness and go off-grid. Many of us can't even afford to go off social media because we rely on it to promote our businesses.

When under stress, you can be blind to the sacred. But, the good news is that the sacred is everywhere. You don't need to be part of any religion to experience awe.

October 30, 2020

Sarah McMahill and Roland Legge Present: Self Care Tool Kit: The Enneagram – Working with Change in Our Lives

October 30, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

In this free workshop, we will be guiding people in creating their own self-care tool kit by integrating an in-depth overview of the nine types of the enneagram and the three centers of intelligence. Registration is for all 5 sessions listed below. Dates are February 6, 13, 20, 27, and March 6th, 2021. It will be from 2 pm to 4 pm Central Time.

October 03, 2020

Rediscovering the Sacred in a Fearful World

October 03, 2020/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/ Roland Legge

It is almost impossible to avoid the noise of fear, rage and greed in the world. It is coming at you fast and furious through radio, tv and social media.

You probably do not have the luxury to go into the wilderness to go off-grid. Many of us can not afford to go off social media because we rely on it to promote our businesses.

When under stress, you can be blind to the sacred. The good news is that the sacred is everywhere, and you do not need to be part of any religion to experience awe.

What have you experienced as sacred? You may have experienced the holy in nature, music, art, creativity, play, religion, spirituality and more.

As you attune yourself to the sacred, you will experience it more and more in the ordinariness of life. You will have more moments of clarity recognizing something so ordinary is so extraordinary

So, what do you do?

rolandlegge@gmail.com

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