3 Steps to Forgiving your Spouse-EX

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
3 Steps to Forgiving your Spouse-EX

Going through a divorce is challenging, painful and hard. Even if you both agree to it and are civil, it is still tricky.

You got divorced because something did not work out in your relationship. Maybe your spouse was not responsible for how he or she spent the money. Maybe your spouse cheated on you? Did he not pick up his socks? Did she try to change you into someone you are not?

Your anger is telling you that something is wrong. Yet if you do not find ways to release your anger constructively, it will hurt you in the end.

First, let us explore what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is not about forgetting what your spouse did to you, especially if it was sexual, emotional, or physical abuse.

Forgiveness is about taking responsibility for your own mistakes and ensuring you do not make the same mistake over again.

Forgiveness is not cheap; it takes courage to forgive others. It takes time, hard work and commitment.

You will heal when you use the power of your anger to make change in your life. However, for you to move ahead, you need to find a way to forgive your spouse and probably yourself.

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Discovering the Power of Love through the Enneagram

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Discovering the Power of Love through the Enneagram

Love is an overused word. Love is about bringing out the best in each other. Love is a choice.

When we choose to love another person, we respect them whether or not we are happy with them. What does love mean for you?

Discovering your Enneagram type can help you to love yourself, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.

What is the Enneagram? It is a psychological-spiritual map to help you be your best.

We arrive in this world with one of the nine types to survive in the world. Your type is the same as your ego.

Your type only becomes a problem when you stay stuck in the limitations of your Enneagram type.

Your goal is to get as healthy as you can in all nine types. It is all about learning to notice how you show up in the world every day. It is learning to see what you do automatically without thinking. It is learning to connect with your inner wisdom, which will give you the freedom and courage to be you.

Click Here to Learn more about the Enneagram

The more you learn about your type will help you to notice how you are behaving. It will give you signs for when you go into unconscious behaviour. Even more importantly, it will show you away back into presence.

Once you learn your partner’s type, you will get insights to help you to support them and, most, discover the best ways to love them.

Here are nine ways to love yourself and the love of your life:

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Sarah McMahill and Roland Legge Present: Self Care Tool Kit: The Enneagram – Working with Change in Our Lives

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Sarah McMahill and Roland Legge Present: Self Care Tool Kit: The Enneagram – Working with Change in Our Lives

We will be guiding people in creating their own self-care tool kit by integrating an in-depth overview of the nine types of the Enneagram and the three centers of intelligence. Registration is for all five sessions listed below. Dates are October 17, 24, 31, November 7, and 14. Receive an early bird discount when you register before September 30, 2020. See you soon!

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5 Ways to Thrive After a Divorce: How to get the best out of life?

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
5 Ways to Thrive After a Divorce: How to get the best out of life?

Even the best of divorces is not easy. If you do your work, you will come out of this time stronger, healthier and more confident.

Ending your relationship may feel like a chaotic time. The only way to release these intense feelings, thoughts and sensations are to move through them.

You are likely to feel sadness, anger, despair, hopelessness and confusion. One moment you will be happy, the next you will be crying.

You are not going crazy. This roller coaster of emotions is your pyche’s way to heal. You need to give yourself space to re-orient to the world without this person in your daily life.

Find safe spaces and people to allow yourself to feel the pain. Ignoring or avoiding the pain will only make it worse.

The more you try to ignore it or suppress it, the worse it is going to get.

You may feel peace for a moment, but those feelings will come back even more powerfully at inconvenient times.

You are not just grieving the loss of your relationship but what it could have been.

Most people take at least a year to move through this process, but many take longer. If you are feeling stuck, it would be wise for you to consider getting professional help.

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Three Ways to Quiet the Inner Critic & Find Your True Self

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Three Ways to Quiet the Inner Critic & Find Your True Self

You have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away. The good news is that it does not need to control your life.

You can thank your inner critic for keeping you safe, especially when you were growing up. You can thank your inner critic for its good intentions. However, it is time to let this part of you know that you are capable of taking care of yourself. It is time to quiet this voice and use your energy to build up rather than tear down.

Here are three ways to quiet the inner critic and find your true self:

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Nine paths to healthy relationships based on your Enneagram Type

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Nine paths to healthy relationships based on your Enneagram Type

In our world of online dating, it can be hard to find the perfect match. It doesn't take much to disappoint you.

When all the excitement and passion of falling in love have waned, you start to see your partner's peculiarities. They begin to remind you of your in-perfections. It is tempting to run.

With the help of the Enneagram, you can increase your chances of having a healthy relationship. Instead of focussing on finding your perfect partner, it is about you learning to be your best self.

No type is better or worse than another. I am going to share some of the strengths and challenges that come with each Enneagram type. I hope this will help you to notice what is going on inside you without judgement.

Once you can acknowledge your issues and challenges, the Enneagram can help you to find balance again.

In the end, it is all about self-discovery, honesty and taking 100 % responsibility for your self.

It is after taking full responsibility for yourself you are going to attract healthier people.

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Enneagram Type Three: The Creative Playful Achiever

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
Enneagram Type Three: The Creative Playful Achiever

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing, unique, and there is no one exactly like you!

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when you come of age and don’t realize how much your fear of trying something new limits your freedom.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different. Your type shows you where you are already stuck. Working with this fantastic tool helps you to break free of the limitations of your personality, helping you to become stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types. Remember, you have all nine types within you.

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5 Mind-Blowing Tips to Inner Peace (& Growing Through  Covid-19)

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
5 Mind-Blowing Tips to Inner Peace (& Growing Through  Covid-19)

Life is never easy. Right now, you and people around the world are facing Covid-19 together. Being stuck at home is amplifying your fears. You feel worries in your body, heart and the chaos of the mind.

You have nothing to distract you from your busy mind. You hunger for calm and inner peace.

You are grieving the loss of everyday things. You can now name what you have taken for granted. You are experiencing a disruption in your inner-world. Living in the time of pandemic is not an easy time. One moment you are sad, the next you are angry, and then happy. All this is exhausting.

Even amid Covid-19, there is a path to inner peace. Covid-19 is an excellent opportunity to find more about your true self. It is time to face your shadow side. Covid-19 is forcing all of us to slow down and face our pain, fears and insecurities.

Here are five mind-blowing tips to inner peace:

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6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
6 Signs that it is time to end your relationship

Most relationships begin well. When you are first in love, everything your beloved does is fantastic, cute and endearing. They can do no wrong.

As you move beyond the honeymoon phase, the blinder comes off, and you see your partner for they are.

Little habits of your partner start to annoy you. Maybe they never pick up their clothes off the floor. They never follow through on what they promise to do.

Is this person someone you are willing to give it your all. Is it worth your effort to see if you can make this relationship work?

Do the concerns seem minor compared to the benefits. Do you still want to see this man or woman every day? Do you feel like the most important person in the world when you are with them?

If you want to give your relationship a fair chance to grow, you need to invest time in the union. Make sure you have time every day to check in with each other. Create a safe space to share whatever is going on in your lives.

If you do run into problems, don't be afraid to ask for help, whether that be a religious leader, friend, family member or professional coach or counsellor.

If, after all this work, you are still having doubts about the relationships, here are six signs that it is time to end your relationship.

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5 Ways to Outsmart Your Inner Critic

/ REL Consultants (Roland Legge)/
5 Ways to Outsmart Your Inner Critic

You have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away.

You would not have survived your childhood without your inner critic. It was there to keep you safe.

Your inner critic is that negative voice within you that lets you know when you are moving into dangerous territory. The trouble is that your inner critic gets alarmed every time you try something new.

While this part of your ego kept you safe when you were young, it starts to hold you back when you become an adult.

The more you can become aware of when your inner critic is talking, the better able to you will be able to tame this part of your ego.

Five Ways to Outsmart Your Inner Critic:

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